February 2012
4 posts
SIR POOPS-ALOT
RIDE ON, GALLANT STEED!
CARRY ME TO THE STRONGHOLD
SO I MAY DOO-DOO.
LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR
YES! YES!! DON’T STOP, GIRL!!!!
I LOVE THE WAY YOU WORK THAT
ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR.
SMELLY SPEEDBUMPS
STOP MOANING HOBO!!!
DON’T MAKE ME RUN YOU OVER
WITH MY BENZ AGAIN.
I HAD A KILLER TIME AT PROM
I JUST SPILLED RED WINE
ON MY NEW WHITE TUXEDO
TO HIDE ALL THE BLOOD STAINS.
December 2011
1 post
..AND GRANDMA HAS AIDS
VISITING DADDY
IN PRISON HURTS MORE WHEN
MOM’S ALREADY DEAD.
November 2011
4 posts
HOW APPROPRIATE
“OH SHIT!” SHE SHOUTED
WHEN SHE ACCIDENTALLY
SHARTED IN HER SLACKS.
MAGNUM PEE-I
CRAZY HOMELESS MAN:
IF PEEING YOUR PANTS IS COOL,
THEN YOU’RE TOM SELLECK.
WHO'S BAD?
MOAMMAR GADDHAFI
LOOKED LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON WITH
A WISPY MOUSTACHE.
DC SASQUATCH
YOU EVER SEEN A
CAUCASIAN WORK FOR METRO?
RARE LIKE SNOW LEOPARDS.
September 2011
1 post
..AND DODO EGGS
DEAR TIME TRAVELLER:
BRING ME SLUTBAGS FROM THE PAST,
AND SOME FUTURE DRUGS..
August 2011
2 posts
MIGHT BE TWINS
DAMN BUFFALO WINGS
RIPPED MY PREGNANT ASS IN TWO.
JUST BIRTHED BUTT-MUD!
CHOPPED NUTS
SOOO MANY WRINKLES.
OOO!! OWWW!! TESTICLE SHAVING
WITH A DULL RAZOR.
February 2011
1 post
MORE COMFORTABLE THAN GOOSE DOWN
OOPS! I JUST KILLED IT.
I SMOTHERED YET ANOTHER
LITTER OF KITTENS.
January 2011
6 posts
CROCO-CACA-CORNICHON
PICKLED CUCUMBERS,
CROCODILES, AND BABY SHIT
ARE THE SAME COLOR.
E.T.- EXTRA TESTICLE
THIS ONE’S AN EXTRA…
I HAVE A RIGHT NUT, LEFT NUT,
AND A CENTER NUT.
OOORSKDTJAAALYYIOUUDUUUELEEI
SCANDINAVIAN
PEOPLE SPELL REALLY FUNNY.
TOO MANY DAMNED VOWELS! ! !
DONKEY DONG
DEAR MISTER DARWIN,
WHY DO DONKEYS HAVE HUGE WANGS?
ARE GIRL DONKEYS SLUTS?
AT LEAST I MINORED IN SHANKING FOOLS
COLLEGE. WHAT A WASTE!?!
MY DEGREE DOES ME NO GOOD
WHILE IN JAIL FOR RAPE.
ONOMATAPEIA
MY DOG SAYS ‘WOOF WOOF’.
MY KITTY CAT SAYS ‘MEOW’.
MY BUTT JUST SAID ‘PPPPHHHHHHTTTTTT’.
December 2010
16 posts
CAESAR... I'M COMING FOR YOU
I BET JOHN RAMBO
COULD’VE CONQUERED THE ROMANS
WITH A MACHINE GUN.
TOEPICK!
I LIKE ICE DANCING
WAY MORE THAN FIGURE SKATING.
FIGURE SKATING’S GAY.
WHOREGON TRAIL
GRANDPA IS SO OLD
HE LOST HIS VIRGINITY
TO A FRONTIER SLUT.
PLUTONIUM BUTTPLUG
HOW CAN WE PREVENT
THE ALIEN INVADERS
FROM PROBING OUR BUTTS?
STALIN'S A PUSSY
RUSSIANS DRINK VODKA.
AMERICANS DRINK BOURBON.
BOURBON IS TOUGHER.
MANY, MANY NECK TATS
ARE THOSE TATTOOS REAL?
THEY ARE? WOW, I’VE NEVER SEEN
A GIRAFFE WITH INK.
CHARLIE DON'T SURF! !! !!!! !
I SEARCHED EVERY STORE
IN CHINATOWN. NO LUCK YET;
CAN’T FIND A SURF SHOP.
I'M FOR VEAL
THE BUTCHER DON’T SELL
NO BONELESS BABY TENDERS?
HOW ‘BOUT BABY WINGS?
YOU'RE PISSING THE DOG OFF, TOO
WHAT THE FUCK, KITTY?!
WHAT’S WITH ALL THE PURRING, MAN?
I DON’T SPEAK CAT, FOOL!
SWINGIN' FOR THE FENCES
JUST SPRAYED AXE COLOGNE
ON MY PRE-PUBESCENT NUTS.
HOPE THIS GETS ME LAID!
DON'T TELL KAIYA THE PONY'S DEAD
WEE WILLOW UFGOOD
JUST RODE A SHETLAND PONY…
THE BIBLICAL WAY.
SHITTY PINK FOOTBALL JERSEY
WHO CARES ABOUT SPORTS?
MOSTLY HETERO DUDES AND
DUMB BROADS I CAN’T STAND.
FAT BARREL-BODIED BITCH
GOOD THING RACHEL RAY
DOESN’T LIVE ON JUPITER.
SHE’D WEIGH EVEN MORE!
MYTHICAL GONORRHEA
THIS PINK UNICORN
JUST SIDLED UP NEXT TO ME
AND HORNED MY ASSHOLE.
... AND NACHOS FOR ALL
IN A PERFECT WORLD
THERE WOULD BE NO WAR, NO HATE,
NO SOBRIETY…
NO MORE HUNGRY MAN MEALS
PUUSSSHHH, PUUUUSSSSHHHHH… GRAB YOUR KNEES.
IT’S GONNA BE A BIG ONE.
I JUST SHAT A TRUCK.
August 2010
2 posts
SOILED IN GREEN
I SAW A BABY
TURD IN IT’S DIAPER. GREEN POOP.
GREEN SPLATTERY POOP.
AND WE DON'T THROW POO...
EVER WONDER WHY
A CHIMP AIN’T HUMAN? NO JOB,
CREDIT, OR CELL PHONE.
June 2010
4 posts
SOAK IT ALL IN
THE SOFT SOUNDS OF FALL:
A BREEZE BLOWS, LEAVES FALL FROM TREES,
AND THANKSGIVING FARTS.
TRUST ME, I'M A SCIENTIST
WHEN A TIGER AND
SHARK FUCK WITHOUT A CONDOM,
YOU GET TIGER SHARKS.
?
I RODE A PONY
TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH
AND HAD FUNNEL CAKE!
THE GENTLE RAPIST
THE GENTLE RAPIST
WILL FORCE BUTTERFLY KISSES,
HUGS, AND HOLDING HANDS.
April 2010
7 posts
IT'S JUST HOT BREAD, YOU DICKHEAD
TOAST IS FOR ASSHOLES.
THERE. I FUCKING SAID IT, MAN.
GLAD THAT’S OFF MY CHEST.
...FOR ALMOST AN HOUR!!!!!
I HAD TO DRINK PISS
BECAUSE I WAS STUCK IN A
DAMN ELEVATOR…
ASSAULT WITH A LUDICROUS DEVICE
I JUST FOUND MY OLD
POGO STICK, ANDREW! IT IS
STILL COVERED IN BLOOD!
BUTTSEX IS THE FUTURE!
IF I WAS IN CHARGE,
I’D LEGALIZE SODOMY
IN ALL FIFTY STATES.
... AND HOSPITALITY MINORS?
HMMM.. YALE OR HARVARD?
WHICH UNIVERSITY IS
BEST FOR DANCE MAJORS?
STAN GABLE'S ALREADY DEAD?
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN
JUST FINISHED SHOOTING THE NEW
‘REVENGE OF THE NERDS’!!!!
MAKE MINE A DOUBLE
DON’T SKIMP ON THE HAM,
GRANDMA. YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE
MY SANDWICH… MEATY!!!!!!!
March 2010
17 posts
PERSONAL POINT OF VIEW
I DON’T DO COCAINE.
THAT STUFF IS FOR JUNKIES, MAN.
CRACK IS PRETTY TIGHT.
JERSEY SCUM
THOMAS EDISON
INVENTED LIGHT BULBS. ALSO,
SPRAY TANS AND IROCs.